Brotherly Love and the Life of Jonathan
11.11.05
Jonathan was the son of King Saul, and heir to the throne of Israel. Together with his armour bearer, they took on the Philistine garrison without any assurance of success. He knew God’s ability and putting his hope in Him said, “perhaps the LORD will work for us, for the LORD is not restrained to save by many or by few.”1 The LORD was with Jonathan and delivered twenty men into their hands.
At that time, King Saul told his soldiers to fast and put a curse on anyone who ate before evening.2 When Saul determined that Jonathan had tasted a little honey, he was prepared to put his own son to death. But the people rescued Jonathan, saying “he has worked with God this day.”3 It was not Saul’s sacrificial act of fasting that won the day, but Jonathan’s courageous “the LORD is able” attitude.
Jonathan understood something Saul did not – “To love [God] with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and love one’s neighbour as himself, is much more than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.”4
If my father were willing to kill me, I don’t think I would stick around. Yet sometime later, we find Jonathan with his father, meeting the new champion of Israel. Carrying the head of Goliath in his hands, David the shepherd boy introduces himself to King Saul. “Now it came about when [David] had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.”5
What immediately comes to mind is “love your neighbour as yourself.”6 The story of Jonathan is exemplary of living out this great commandment.7 We are not only commanded to love our friend, brother or companion, but also to love the stranger as ourselves.8 Now, because Jonathan loved David as himself, he made a covenant with him9 – that is, a solemn agreement or pact, not a casual relationship but a permanent commitment.10
Saul was afraid of David11 and sought to kill him. Jonathan found this hard to believe, but out of concern for David and a desire to know the truth, he offered “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”12 When Jonathan discovered Saul’s intentions, he defended David, saying “Why should he be put to death? What has he done?”13 But Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan.
Jonathan went to a prearranged location to warn David of the king’s intentions. He did not go off with David, but said “Go in safety” and they kissed each other and wept together.14 At this time, and likely before, Jonathan was aware that David was to be king of Israel, and therefore he himself would not become king.15 Yet Jonathan remained selfless in his love for David. Perhaps he knew that David was anointed by God to become king, and His respect for God’s decisions kept him free of envy. And so they departed.
Saul sought David every day, but God did not deliver him into his hand.16 But Jonathan came to David and encouraged him to not be afraid, saying “my father will not find you, and you will be king over Israel, and I will be next to you”17 Again they made a covenant, and again departed. Whether brought together or torn apart, their friendship remained strong.
Jonathan was found dead on the battlefield with his father Saul and his brothers.18 When David heard he lamented “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; You have been very pleasant to me. Your love to me was more wonderful than the love of women.”19
Relationships like this just don’t seem to happen anymore – especially between men. In my case, I tend to have many acquaintances, and many “friends for a time” – but seemingly no deep life-long relationships. Could it be so rare that two souls knit together, or is it for lack of effort? Am I lacking the necessary friend-building skills, or do I just not believe that such friendships are even possible? I tend to think the latter is the case, so easily do I give up.
Jonathan was interested in establishing God’s kingdom rather than his own. And God was planning to establish his kingdom through David. I can want the best for someone else, but if it comes in conflict with what I want, it’s difficult to not “look out for #1.” It only is through recognizing God as #1, and His better plan, that I can overcome my own selfish ambitions. If Jonathan held onto what was “rightfully his” – he would not have been blessed with such a wonderful friendship.
Jonathan and David didn’t just be friends, they talked about being friends. They “defined the relationship” – making their intentions known to each other. Not once, but several times did they renew their covenant and vows to one another. When have I ever told someone that I want our friendship to grow and endure?
If I had a friendship so good, I would cling to it. Yet when they needed to depart, Jonathan and David could let go. Together, even when apart – I’m sure they remained in the thoughts and prayers of each other. Jonathan just had to see his friend again, and looked for David in the wilderness.
Jonathan was a risk taker, not only in fighting Philistines, but also confronting his father – who was the king of Israel. Twice it is recorded that Jonathan became aware of his fathers intention to kill David, and both times he came to David’s defence. He also took the risk of being with David, and going out to find David when Saul was seeking to kill him. Sometimes doing what’s right involves facing our fears and moving ahead despite them. I know I have trouble taking risks like that.
All this time, Jonathan maintained concern for his family – it was even part of his pact with David.20 Jonathan did not just go along with whatever his friend said. When Saul sought to kill David, Jonathan was determined to find out for himself if it could be true. Jonathan did not die defending David, but defending Israel from the Philistines alongside his father. Despite all the evil Saul had done, Jonathan continued to honour his father.
Coming from a split family, and growing up with Mom – it has often been hard for me to honour my own father. It’s easy to blame him for things that went wrong in our family. I’m glad that God really has a hold of his life, that I can forget the past and honour him for who he is now. But I can’t understand why Jonathan stayed by his father instead of joining David’s men – other than to say that loving our parents is as important to God as loving our neighbour.21